Let’s talk about siblings.
How do they process having a brother or sister with special needs? If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably noticed how much it shifts the balance at home. The energy. The emotions. The attention.
I have three kids. My two oldest are 18 months apart, and people always told me that having kids close in age was ideal. “They’ll be best friends!” they said.
Still waiting on that.
From the moment we brought Ashi home from the hospital, Natti (my oldest) was…let’s just be candid… not thrilled. Somehow, he instinctively knew that Ashi was going to be occupying a lot of our attention, and he wasn’t wrong. When Ashi was just two weeks old, I was getting ready to take both kids out (which, let’s be honest, is a heroic feat all on its own). I turned around for two seconds and found Natti had shoved an adult shoe onto Ashi’s face.
And honestly? That moment still sums up their relationship today. Oil and water.
Sibling Tension Is Real
Ashi frustrates the living bejeezus out of Natti. And Natti has made it his personal mission to make sure Ashi knows it.
I’ve spent a lot of Ashi’s life trying to “make it up” to Natti with time, attention, and moments just for him. But no matter what I do, it feels like I’m always playing catch-up.
Most recently, when I redesigned Ashi’s room, Natti walked in and said, “Now his room is cooler than mine! I want a swing too.”
Let the major eye roll commence. I had just redesigned Natti’s room before Ashi’s. I swear, I can’t win.
But then the designer and the Mom in me kicked in. I asked myself: What would it look like to create a space that’s truly made for Natti? A space where he could feel calm, in control, and emotionally safe? Something that’s unique to his needs.
Why Swings Are Magic for Creating a Calm Space for Your Child
Let me pause to say that swings are one of the best pieces of equipment you can add to a child’s space. They’re soothing. They help regulate the vestibular system. They calm the body and mind. Whether your child has special needs or not, a swing can work wonders, especially at the end of a long day.
Natti has a very different kind of ADHD than Ashi. He gets triggered easily. He’s quick to frustration, impatient, and often bored. He’s also incredibly bright, deeply considerate, and one of my favorite people to spend time with, when he’s in a good mood, that is. When he’s not… stay away.
Why I’m Sharing This
You might think I’m oversharing, but I don’t believe in pretending. Parenting is messy, imperfect, and full of contradictions. The more we talk openly about what we’re going through, the less alone we feel. I’m sharing this because we can learn from each other. And, I’m still learning too.
The Closet-Turned-Calm-Space Makeover
So back to Natti’s swing. I realized the closet in his room was barely being used since he and Ashi share clothes (a situation worthy of its own blog post). So I cleared it out and reimagined the entire area.
I took out the wire shelving, added a soft green leaf wallpaper that I instantly fell in love with, and hung string lights to make the space feel magical. I laid down a cozy ivory shag rug for softness.
If you’re curious about this style, this is called biophilic design—bringing elements of nature indoors to create a sense of peace and well-being. But all I knew was that it made me feel calm. And when the wallpaper went up, the whole room felt transformed.
And here’s the best part: it actually worked.
He Uses It and Loves It
Natti uses that swing every night. It’s become his winding-down ritual. After the rest of the house has quieted down, he sneaks into his swing nook and lets the day melt off. It’s his space, and he needs it.
Now, the next challenge is teaching him to use that space when he’s in the middle of a frustration spiral. Because if you’ve ever tried to redirect a child mid-meltdown, you know—it’s like trying to hug a tornado. If you interrupt, the fury gets aimed at you. So we’re working on it.
But having that space available is the first step.
Every Child Needs a Calm-Down Zone
I’m convinced: every child needs a space that feels like theirs. A place to go when they’re overwhelmed, overstimulated, or just emotionally spent.
This doesn’t have to be a big room or an elaborate setup. I’ve designed calm-down spaces in everything from walk-in closets to under-the-stairs nooks. With a little creativity, even the smallest space can be turned into a sensory retreat.
Here’s what worked for us:
• A small, enclosed space
• Dim, soft lighting
• Nature-inspired wallpaper
• A soft rug for grounding
• A swing (if you can safely install one)
These elements don’t just look good, they feel good. They invite stillness and comfort, which is something all kids crave, even if they can’t express it.
A Word on Transitions
One more thing: if your child has sensory needs or struggles with change, take your time.
When I first introduced the new decor to Natti, he wanted nothing to do with it. He literally pulled it off the wall and threw it on the floor. So I didn’t push. I let it sit in the room for a week. We talked about it. I explained why I thought it would look great. A week later, I asked if I could hang it. He still said no. I left it again. Eventually, he said yes.
Sometimes it’s not about rushing the change. It’s about inviting them into it.
Final Thoughts
Parenting is hard. It’s layered and unpredictable and exhausting and beautiful. But if we can find ways to help our kids recenter when the world feels too big, too loud, or just too much, that’s something.
I encourage you to think about creating a calm space for your child. Sensorize it. Make it feel special and safe. And if you’re not sure where to begin, I’d love to help.
I truly believe that even small changes in our spaces can have a powerful impact on our children’s well-being, and ours too.
Looking for support?
If you need help creating a calm space for your child, that’s exactly what I do. I specialize in creating sensory-friendly environments that support emotional wellness for kids and families. Whether you want to talk ideas or dive into a full room redesign, feel free to contact me and together, we can create a space that feels good for everyone.
